Families with Special Circumstances

Families Who Are New to the Parish

The Baptism of a child often draws parents back to the Church after a period of inactivity or estrangement. As such, the preparation for a child's Baptism can be a wonderful opportunity for evangelization and outreach. If your parish has a committee or group of volunteers dedicated to welcoming new parishioners, include them or more of them on the Baptism team. Provide new families with a packet of information about the parish. Have a parish visitor call on the family or include the family in a newcomers' event.

Single Parents

Parents who are raising a child alone can feel intimidated by parish programs or unsure about their place within the community. Be sensitive to language that refers to parents in written or oral communication so that those who are raising a child alone do not feel excluded or slighted. Arrange for childcare at baptismal preparation session(s) and create introductory activities that will make the single parent feel welcome and at ease with the group. Consult with a single parent about other ways to make the preparation program welcoming and inclusive.

Sibling Involvement

When a new baby enters the family, older siblings can feel anxious about the changes that are occurring in the household and jealous of the attention that the baby is receiving from parents and other family members. Address this issue during the baptismal preparation session(s) and invite parents to brainstorm ideas for easing sibling angst. Create a special place for siblings at the ceremony so they can observe the Baptism up close. Provide parents with a prayer for the siblings to use before and after the Baptism.

Baptism of Older Children

While it is desirable and perhaps even a parish or diocesan requirement that parents prepare for their child's Baptism before the child is born, parish leaders need to be prepared for Baptism of children at all ages. It is not unusual for parents to wait a few months or even years before approaching a parish about Baptism. The Baptism of children who are over a year old may indicate a parent's return to the Church after a period of inactivity or estrangement. See the suggestions for reaching out to new families and be attentive to the need for hospitality for these families.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

An increasing number of households include a grandparent who has full or partial responsibility for raising a grandchild. Thus the involvement of some grandparents in a child's Baptism can be as significant as that of a parent's. While it is helpful to conduct personal interviews with all families who are seeking Baptism for a child, it is especially important in the case of grandparents. A face-to-face interview provides an opportunity to learn about the relationship between a grandparent and the child to be baptized and to ascertain whether the child will be raised in the Church, as baptismal requirements stipulate. The interview also helps to uncover any special circumstance that might warrant a particular type of outreach to the family on behalf of the parish, such as the death or illness of the child's parents or estrangement of the parents from the Church or from other family members.

One Parent Is Not Catholic

Given modern-day demographics, it is quite likely that some households in your Baptism preparation program will include "mixed marriages"—ones in which one parents is not Catholic. Holding one-on-one interviews is a way to discuss this situation in order to determine how to best reach out to the family. In some cases, the parent who is not Catholic attends Mass and participates in other aspects of the parish. He or she is likely to be supportive of the Baptism and may even be considering Baptism or full participation in the Catholic Church for him- or herself. In that case, it is helpful to include someone from the parish catechumenal ministry on the Baptism team. This person can be available to answer questions about adult Baptism or reception into the Church. Otherwise, it is important to emphasize that Baptism is celebrated only once and that the Catholic Church honors Baptism in other Christian denomination. In other cases, a parent who is not Catholic may be non-committal about a child's Baptism and provides neither objection to the Baptism nor active support. The spouse who is Catholic may find him/herself in the same situation as a single parent when it comes to preparing for the sacrament and raising a child in faith. Inviting the parent into parish groups or organizations that provide opportunities for involvement can help a parent feel welcome and supported. In still other cases, the parent who is not Catholic may be hostile towards the Church or towards religion in general. This can place stress on the parent who is Catholic when the child's Baptism and the parent's participation in the parish generates a strain in the marriage and friction in the home. A one-on-one interview or home visit can be a means of providing information on ways to ease such tensions as well as to create non-threatening forms of outreach to the non-Catholic parent.

Illness or Trauma

The arrival of a baby can sometimes involve traumatic circumstances. Premature birth may result in complications in the child's health and the need for an extended period of hospitalization. The news of a child's mental or physical disabilities can leave parents feeling isolated, overwhelmed, anxious, and confused. The mother's health might be jeopardized after a difficult delivery. Or the adoption of a child may involve trying or painful circumstances and adjustments. In all cases, it is vital to provide pastoral ministry that is warm, caring, and prayerful. If a child is baptized in the hospital, seek ways to involve the community by arranging childcare for older siblings. If the mother is ill, it may be advisable to delay the Baptism of the child until her recovery is complete or to arrange for a private Baptism in the home or hospital and then welcome the child to the community with a blessing or special prayer. Providing outreach through a parish visit, the inclusion of the family on a parish prayer chain, or providing meals from an outreach committee are other ways to minister to families who experiencing trauma or illness.

One Parent in the Armed Forces

Households in which one or both parents are serving in the active military warrants particular pastoral support. When a father is deployed overseas or stationed in another part of the country, it may not be possible for him to return for the Baptism or even the birth of his child. In such cases, parishes might arrange to videotape or provide photos of the ceremony. Encourage the at-home parent to include the other parent in providing entries for the keepsake at the back of the We Believe & Celebrate Baptism Family Book. Seek out other ways to extend hospitality to the absent parent, perhaps by having a parish group or individual send a greeting card that offers prayers for that parent's well-being and safety.